Dragged Up and Torn Apart
About
Dragged Up and Torn Apart (memoir)
A gut-wrenching memoir of survival, brotherhood, and the long road back to truth.
Cain and his twin were inseparable, partners in crime, in mischief, and in survival. When childhood became a battlefield of neglect, starvation, and fear, they built their own rules to stay alive. But as adulthood neared, the bond that once saved them began to fracture, revealing the trauma they had both buried to survive.
In therapy years later, Cain starts to unpick the memories he thought he’d escaped. What he finds isn’t just pain. It’s the realisation that love, loyalty, and damage can look almost identical when you grow up fighting to exist.
Told with dark humour, raw honesty, and a voice that refuses self-pity, Dragged Up and Torn Apart is more than a trauma memoir. It’s an act of reclamation. A story of brothers bound by blood and broken by silence.
Comparables: Educated by Tara Westover, Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs, A Child Called “It” by Dave Pelzer.
Praise for this book
This book is about as far away from my normal reading as the Earth is from its moon. I was completely unprepared for what I would find in these pages, which only made the impact that much more powerful.
It begins with a man irrationally fearful of death, and his first conversation with his psychologist. When asked about his childhood, the man answers, “I had a great childhood.“ The majority of the book then proceeds to show us exactly how diametrically opposite of great this childhood was.
We learn about twin brothers, Cain and Neil, and follow them through their misbehavior and antics. While told in a dispassionate narrative, it's not long before these young boys inserted themselves into my heart as I experienced their adventures alongside them. And while the boys view many of their experiences through an adventurous lens shared in vivid detail, it quickly becomes apparent there is a strong subtext. The dissonance of these childhood adventures and treatment of a child that should never occur then carries the story.
Young Cain and Neil would be a handful for the best of mothers, but a narcissistic, neglectful mother doesn’t even bother, meting out blows and curses for punishment rather than the teaching and nurturing of traditional motherhood. When this is the only parenting the boys have known, they believe it is the norm, yet their acting out speaks loudly, saying otherwise.
We follow the boys into their teenage years and finish up by completing the discussion between the adult man and his psychologist. Here we are blessed with a beautiful, life-changing, epiphanal moment and its profound impact on both the character and the reader. We see the stigma in seeking help for mental health, and how convolutedly wrong that is, as well as the need for mental and emotional strength to reframe past events and overcome their effects.
An exceptional literary work should be unsettling. It should coax us out of our comfort zone to see things beyond ourselves. It should be enlightening, encouraging us to learn and grow and discover hidden things about ourselves. It should be profound, shaking our foundation to the degree that we have no choice but to change our heart to accommodate its lessons. This book does just that.
In a world where weakness is prized and anxiety is the norm, it's imperative for the messages of this book to be heard. It's the difference between barely surviving or drifting along, and having hope, thriving, and living the best life possible. As timely as it is timeless, this true-life story is poignant, powerful, evocative and vital. I challenge every book lover to read this extraordinary story. I promise, your life will be deeply touched, more fully enriched, and forever changed by these words and their message.
WOW! THAT WAS UNEXPECTED!!
I was not expecting this book to be an eye opening "AHA!" moment!! But, oh my goodness, it was exactly that! It wasn't until the end of the book, however, that I was hit with that sudden feeling of being able to relate! I've been blindsided by issues with my mental health recently. I'll be 46 this year, and it was about 5 or 6 years ago that I, suddenly, was being attacked by my own mind! I was trying to walk off some anger after arguing with my boyfriend. As I was crossing a railroad crossing, as I'd done numerous times before in various moods (angry, sad, happy, etc.), without any adversity. This would not be the case on that day. Because, as I crossed those tracks, after looking both ways twice and listening for a distant whistle that I didn't hear therefore deeming it safe to proceed, a thought flashed through my head! I wondered what would happen if I heard a whistle, but instead of quickening my steps to get safely across, I just stopped? The think was gone just as quick as it came, but, the fact that it had been in my head at all had me freaking out and sprinting home to inform my boyfriend he needed to get me to the ER asap. I didn't know what was happening to me, but, I knew it wasn't normal. I'd never been suicidal or had any desire to harm myself before. I can't say that's even what my intentions were then. But, it was the beginning of what's still an ongoing struggle for me. Still don't know why I get sudden urges to, I guess, "runaway". I sometimes just feel the need to get get away from where I'm at (wherever that may be work, home, store, etc.), and do it fast before something bad happens! Although, it's totally unwarranted, it feels all too real at that moment.
I could go on and on , but this is just supposed too be a quick review of a book. LOL! The book is a wonderful read that had a surprising voice of encouragement at the end. I now feel like there's a some hope. And, can even see a pinhole of light at the end of the dark tunnel that is my mind.
Thank you, Cain.
I can't rave enough about how good this book is. An absolute must read.
I expected this memoir to be a harrowing tale of twins ripped apart (that's what you get for only reading the cover and not the blurb). But it's not. This book is hilarious. The author is the best ever story teller and on each page, he turns traumatic events into funny stories.
He and his twin are mischief on legs. Their neglectful and abusive childhood is dealt with by their constant shenanigans, many are simply to eat and survive the neglect and poverty.
Cain does an impeccable job of describing his brother and his love and devotion for him. My heart was so warmed by his adoration and loyalty and affectionate descriptions of Neil's obsession with burning things and running amok with not a care in the world. Oh the scene where he hit the side of the car is a priceless visual and encapsulates their adventurous and mischievous nature.
Cain is a brilliant writer and storyteller. I have never highlighted so many (around 40) passages in the kindle version, that were either extremely good wording, a heartbreaking line about their dad or a hilarious story, sometimes all three at once.
I was blown away and taken aback that the beginning and end had strong overlaps with my own life and memoir and I connected with these parts on a deep personal level.
This is one of the best memoirs I have ever read. I will end with some of my favorite lines.
"A tall figure stood in the corner of the lift like a grandfather clock waiting for someone to come and reconfigure the hands of time."
"We chose to play in our room because burning things was more appealing to Neil."
"The new fence that was erected to keep the terrible twins out only helped us reach the apple tree."
"Mum said he was a plumber and an arsehole when asked what his job was."
"I watched his every moment while waiting to save him from harm. That is what I was born to do."