Being Quilly

Abandoned by his mother and separated from the twin brother who was both weighing him down and keeping him buoyant during their turbulent childhood, Cain has little choice but to make his way in the world alone. Out of necessity, he grows up fast from mischievous adolescent to misfit young adult, and as readers, we pray he finds a steady path even as the soft sands of destiny unfairly shift beneath his feet.

In this captivating sequel to Quillman’s first riveting memoir, Dragged Up and Torn Apart, Cain struggles to find acceptance and belonging – including a place he can finally call home. No longer a boy but not yet a man, Cain continues to thumb his nose at authority, dabbles in drugs and grapples with toxic relationships as part of his awkward sexual awakening, but he also finds comfort and consistency in the mundane, from eating mounds of mashed potatoes to playing darts at the pub. Whether seeking solace in the arms of another or finding a bit of fulfillment at work, Cain’s longing for connection is apparent as he fights to forge ahead in his quest for love, security and acceptance. Thankfully, there are also some delightful moments of levity along the way, and the engine driving the story is Quillman’s trademark blend of naughty humour, humility, and above all, humanity.

English novelist John Fowles wrote “Adulthood is not an age, but a stage of knowledge of self.” This truly sums up Cain’s journey. As he matures into adulthood and his confidence grows, Cain comes into his own by coming to terms with his (still) dysfunctional family of origin, discovering what it means to be unconditionally loved, and finally accepting that he is ultimately the captain of his own fate. As a reader, Cain’s full-circle evolution from boy to man is truly satisfying. I, for one, am grateful that the author took the chance on making his life an open book in order to share his deeply personal and profound journey with us

We first met Quilly as a young boy in Dragged Up and Torn Apart. While the initial offering was poignant, heart-rending and touching, this book is the story of Quilly’s next stage of life in all its raw, awkward, self-deprecating glory. This is the coming of age story of a boy who is ill-prepared for life on his own. Left to fend for himself, alone and with little resources, he struggles to survive and find his place in the world along the way to becoming a man.

His story is bawdy, crass and outrageous, and probably not for the faint of heart. Boys will be boys, as they say, and while explicit descriptions are reined in, we’re given the unvarnished truth of any improprietous activities. If you have delicate sensibilities, this book won’t be for you. But if you're not easily offended, you'll laugh your fanny off through the indecorous retellings.

Don’t mistake the humor to mean there is no heart or emotion, because this story is brimming with both, sometimes in the midst of the laughter, creating the most delicious emotional discord. With subject matter and events that are weighty and serious, this story takes every emotion you might have, jumbling and tumbling them throughout its pages, making for a sensational, satisfying ride. The objective narrative then leaves it to the reader to feel the raw emotion while seeking out the subtle nuance.

There are far too many new adults in our world today in similar circumstances as our Quilly. And while he is far from perfect and makes missteps along his path, his story offers a spirit of gratitude, enlightening insight and, most of all, hope. Gratitude for kindnesses shown to a struggling young man along his journey, insight to become that kindness for another whenever possible, and hope that others who are struggling to find their way will be met with kindness as they seek to find their place in this world.

As masterfully written as the first book, this story is equally as profound and relevant. It's one that can be read a hundred times and still offer something new. A new insight, a new life lesson, a new bit of humor, or a nuance so subtle it was previously missed.

In a society that denounces free thinking and self-reliance, Quilly’s message is vital. Contrary to popular discourse, this story is the imperfectly perfect parable that each of us is responsible for what our life becomes. Its humor will make you laugh out loud, its evocative poignance will indelibly mark your soul and its timely, enlightening message will live in your heart long after the last page. Vulnerable, honest, compelling, and pivotal, this remarkable story will be one of the very best you'll ever read.

Being Quilly is a continuation of Dragged Up And Torn Apart, following the author from age 17 to 30.

Through trials and tribulations, soul searching, and even the discovery of love, I was sucked in from the first page.

Unlike with book one, which touched more on mental health, as well as trauma and recovery, this is a story of growth. While it still had its emotional waves, we see a lighter side, and at times, a rather crass side. No embarrassing detail or thought is held back. This book is absolutely raw from beginning to end. A coming of age story that is sure to stick with you long after you put it down.

It's incredible the way Cain tells each event with so much wit and humor through not only the good, but also the bad. This ability is what drew me to his first book, and will be why I continue to read everything he puts out in the future. His story isn't only one of tragic events and the whirlwind of trying to figure out his place in life, it holds lessons and hope. There's something between the pages he's written for everyone.

I laughed, I cried, I questioned the authors sanity at times. What more could you want from a book?